For a Pessimist I’m pretty Optimistic

Sometimes it’s just a small change of attitude or surroundings to change the whole atmosphere. What if the weather is not getting colder, but instead we are getting hotter (damn!) each day? What if we are not forever alone, but forever available? Doesn’t it sound awesome to you?

The glass isn’t half empty, nor is it half full – it’s just filled. You are not allergic to cats, your brain just warns you to be cautious in case of evil-cat-attacks. And you are not the wrong size, your dress is.

You know the lyrics of the song, the interpreter has no clue. And you are opening the door the right way – but some evil force is just blocking your way, so you have to push instead of pulling. Also you didn’t get sunburnt, sun is just making compliments that make you blush … over and over again.

Further you don’t have less money, month is just too long this … well, month, it happens sometimes. Your smartphone is not broken, you just have more freedom and live independently. Yay. And come to think of it, sometimes it does not take long for you to understand, but you need time to find a proper response that won’t hurt or confuse the other party – you are sooo caring!

You see, you are awesome … JUST THE WAY YOU ARE (I love this song. Bruno Mars ftw!)

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#TEAMSATAN!

For all those who know that KAMEHAMEHA is not some sort of yoga, you should not wish for a hat with holes for your ears or just ask for panties instead and KAKAROT is not some sort of vegetable – Dragonball Super is out now!

Which means more granted wishes, muscles, Goku, Vegeta and about 8 episodes of an intense 2-minutes-fight! Yay! And again, Mr Satan, savior of humankind and the hero of our time. He’s awesome.

Therefore, I’m part of TEAM SATAN.

mr satan

Who is your favourite?

PLAYING GOD

Did you ever want to create life? To decide wether someone is worthy to live a pleasant life or has to face one hardship after another? Did you ever want to become a villain who destroys cities, tears families apart and burns everything?
Fire, explosions and death.
Despair, tears and breakdowns.
And more and more fire and explosions.

Then you better start playing SIMS – an (almost) realistic game.

But even though SIMS was supposed to be a game where people could „live“ a virtual life and create their own virtual life-stories, nearly everyone who ever played it kind of created similar stories and witnessed the unique SIMS logic that drives nuts.
Here is a summary of the most common fails, story-plots and other SIMS-related content.

sims

1) There’s a chair in the way
SIMS can’t just pass chairs, dumbass. If there is a chair placed around wrongly and does (obviously) not block the way as there is enough space to pass, SIMS tend to overreact and make clear that there is NO WAY that they would just figure out another route.

2) We want DRAMA!
Happy-endings are BORING! That’s the reason why anyone who ever played SIMS created their own family-drama-scenario, including intrigues, break-ups, deceiving and more drama!

3) No multitasking
„Oh, you want me to pick up the phone? Better put my Baby down to the floor.“
– Enough said.

4) Burn them
You don’t like your SIM anymore? Better put them into a room without doors, only chairs and tables and a big fireplace.

5) Drown them
Same goes with drowning: just put them into a pool and sell the ladder.

6) Starve to death
So logical: Your SIM is almost going to die and can’t just grab the sandwich that is placed on the kitchen shelf, because it is more important to moan and complain.

7) Emotional breakdowns
When SIMS are facing to many hardships they can’t just keep on living – they start to feel depressed and complain until a psychiatrist appears and lifts their spirit.
And further, SIMS tend to overreact easily in general.

8) There’s a person in the way
„Sorry I can’t pass here, because someone else is blocking my way and I can’t just figure out how to pass or use another route.“ – Seriously?

9) Ghosts
Your SIMS are still awake at midnight and want to go into the garden, as happy as always. But then, suddenly, the music changes and -BAM!- ghosts of ancient SIMS appear and scare them to death, because … well, they can, I guess.

10) Cheats
It’s hard to make money and to build a perfect house, so almost everyone knew Codes, such as „rosebud“ (SIMS), „Motherlode“ (SIMS2) or „boolProp testingCheatsEnabled true“ (SIMS2).

11) Friends and Enemies
SIMS are really resentful – even though they know their own parents for quite a long time, they can’t just forgive a small prank or an opinion that does not fit theirs. Further building friendships is a hard job and takes at least half a day.

12) Reactions to emergencies
„Oh, the stove is on fire? I better start to hyperventilate and wave my hands around, just to make sure that maybe I will set myself on fire.“

13) Cooking
It’s as easy as one, two, three: SIMS just take something out of their fridge, cut it into pieces, put it into a pot and … YAY, STEAK!

14) Topics of Conversation
SIMS love to talk to others: while eating, watching TV, reading a book, topics that are always mentioned are other SIMS, the weather, sports, work, money, other SIMS, animals, games and other SIMS. Quite a great variety, life never gets boring.

15) The Language
I think there should be something like a language course where you can learn SIMS language! Sometimes it seems to me it is a mix between English, German and something Arabic, dunno.

16) Flies
Whenever tableware or food is not thrown away or put into the dishwasher, it immediately starts to stink abominably and it creates a green cloud, surrounded by flies. Bon appétit!

17) Angry neighbor
„I hate you … I’d better kick your garbage can each time I pass your house. This serves you right.“

18) Physics
Totally realistic, I mean, who does not own a flying house with just a staircase that holds the whole damn building?

19) Messing around with Death
So you want your favorite SIM back from the dead? Better play a game with Death.

20) The ugly family
Everyone has at least once created an extremely ugly SIM or family just to find out how their offsprings look like!

GOT 33 PROBLEMS, BUT MY PSYDUCK AIN’T ONE

Instead of moaning and complaining about life and people all the time, here are some real and relevant problems that bother us at least once in our Pokémon-career.
Our worst nightmares!

pikachu

#1
If you aren’t playing Pokémon Yellow, there’s no chance that Pikachu will follow you around.

#2
I don’t want my Pikachu to become an ugly Raichu, but this way it will get stronger.

#3
That awkward feeling you get when someone else is playing your game.

#4
Getting a kick-ass Pokémon in a trade that has a stupid nickname that can’t be changed, because you aren’t the original trainer.

#5
Still thinking about which stone to use on Eevee.

#6
When gym leaders use full restores.

#7
Metapod vs. Metapod – it’s getting hard.

#8
Got confused? Better punch myself in the face! – Pokémon-logic at its best!

#9
Pressed ‚A‘ too fast so I had to talk to Nurse Joy all over again.

#10
Having trust issues because of pokéballs that shake three times and then open.

#11
When elite four members use full restores.

#12
A tree is blocking the way and you can’t just pass it.

#13
Jumping over some sort of fence or higher plattform is only possible from one side.

#14
I want to catch a Pokémon, but my team is too strong to just weaken it.

#15
Using masterball to catch the enemies Pokémon.

#16
Having to walk in front of people to fight against them.

#17
Magikarp vs. Magikarp.

#18
Team Rocket members don’t have a Meowth in their team.

#19
Taking my bike with me everywhere, but I am not able to use it in buildings.

#20
Pronouncing a Pokémon’s name completely wrong for like more than a month until you talk to people or it is mentioned in an episode.

#21
No, this is an emergency! I can’t save during a battle!

#22
Pronouncing „Teenager“ completely wrong for a very long time as it can be read like „tea gnawer“ in german which does not make sense at all.

#23
Getting addicted to gambling because of the Pokémon Casino.

#24
Caught Missingno. and now I have some sort of virus on my game.

#25
You have to choose your starter first and your enemy will always pick the type that is super effective.

#26
This one guy who has a team with 6 magikarps.

#27
Want to trade with friend, have to connect via Pokémon Center and it doesn’t work even when we click at the same time.

#28
Found an Item, but my bag is full.

#29
Want to catch a Pokémon, but your Pokémon Storage System is full.

#30
Pressed ‚A‘ too fast and now I have to go back from the Pokémon status to use dig.

#31
If you play Pokémon Blue it takes like forever to catch a Pikachu.

#32
My Pokémon look so weird from behind.

#33
Finally caught all 151 Pokémon – just found out there are already 647.

CONTROVERSIAL

When I fight against you
I always lose
You are someone
I can never defeat.

I like it cozy,
you prefer the dark.
I love company
and you just don’t give a fuck.

Your sarcasm and your mood
they drive me nuts –
I can’t deal with that
you never cheer up.

I know you hate me
I just don’t know why.
You criticize my every step…
What am I supposed to do?

If I avoid everything
how can I be happy?
Why can’t you forgive me?
What did I ever do wrong?

Why do I annoy you?
You hate my existence,
you can’t see my face,
you will always let me down.

Are we so different?
For you it’s so easy to make me cry.
How come that we drifted apart?
I can’t remember…

I know we will never agree,
because you are me
and I am
my greatest enemy.

NUMB

We are frozen, we are numb.
We don’t show emotions in public,
we fear to show our greatest weakness.
Is there still sympathy within our society?

Is it just a cold cold world,
with self-centered puppets
running around in circles
emotionless and tired?

Tired of the same old routine
with no purpose in life.
To live is to blaze
but who is actually burning?

Who would stand up,
who would fight?
Who would fall down
and enjoy the downfall?

We are lonely because we don’t care,
because we don’t want to be involved
in other peoples business.
We are loners.

IGNORANCE

With each new „innovation“ on Facebook, WhatsApp and other „Stay-in-Contact-Wherever-and-Whenever-You-Want“-possibilities, we all start to become stalkers. On Facebook, messages get marked as been read, the same goes with WhatsApp. But what makes them even more stalking-plattforms is the fact that it does not only tell the moment the message was received and read, but also when the person was online the last time. So in general, once a message does not get replied right after it was read, people start to get mad.

But how come people start to get mad that easily? I don’t believe it’s mere jealousy, I rather think it’s the comfort of today’s „have it easy, have it fast“-lifestyle. Once individuals do not react the way they are „supposed“ to be, if this can even be said, it starts to annoy others. And then, in a blink of a second, people start to interpret: What could be the cause that someone does not want to talk to them right now? Do they prefer others (other people) instead? Did they (writers) do something wrong (to the receivers)? Was it (the message) inappropriate? Should they have thought it (the content) through? Didn’t they do this (thinking it through) from the start?

And what makes it even more ridiculous is then the conclusion of all the interpretation in one’s mind: that someone just tries to ignore them. Why do people stress themselves? Is it so big of a deal to get an answer right away? Back then, when the Internet was still not even a vision of communicating instantly, and letters were the way to talk over a great distance, people were patiently waiting. Why are we so inpatient and put pressure on others as well as on ourselves? I don’t think this is really healthy for both parties.

Let’s try to be more understanding, more considerate and even more patient. I think this would help a lot. Or maybe we should stop being online 24 hours a day? Would we be able to relax once we start to shut everything down and forget it for a while? And do we have to know how/with whom/where a person is spending their afternoon? Is it so hard to accept that there’s still a private life going on even though almost everything is posted online? We all complain about surveillance in public places, but we are more than willing to share almost every detail of our private lives with others – on Social Media or through messages. Do we really care about our privacy? And shouldn’t we allow others to enjoy theirs (or at least the thought of it)?