Did you ever want to create life? To decide wether someone is worthy to live a pleasant life or has to face one hardship after another? Did you ever want to become a villain who destroys cities, tears families apart and burns everything?
Fire, explosions and death.
Despair, tears and breakdowns.
And more and more fire and explosions.
Then you better start playing SIMS – an (almost) realistic game.
But even though SIMS was supposed to be a game where people could „live“ a virtual life and create their own virtual life-stories, nearly everyone who ever played it kind of created similar stories and witnessed the unique SIMS logic that drives nuts.
Here is a summary of the most common fails, story-plots and other SIMS-related content.
1) There’s a chair in the way
SIMS can’t just pass chairs, dumbass. If there is a chair placed around wrongly and does (obviously) not block the way as there is enough space to pass, SIMS tend to overreact and make clear that there is NO WAY that they would just figure out another route.
2) We want DRAMA!
Happy-endings are BORING! That’s the reason why anyone who ever played SIMS created their own family-drama-scenario, including intrigues, break-ups, deceiving and more drama!
3) No multitasking
„Oh, you want me to pick up the phone? Better put my Baby down to the floor.“
– Enough said.
4) Burn them
You don’t like your SIM anymore? Better put them into a room without doors, only chairs and tables and a big fireplace.
5) Drown them
Same goes with drowning: just put them into a pool and sell the ladder.
6) Starve to death
So logical: Your SIM is almost going to die and can’t just grab the sandwich that is placed on the kitchen shelf, because it is more important to moan and complain.
7) Emotional breakdowns
When SIMS are facing to many hardships they can’t just keep on living – they start to feel depressed and complain until a psychiatrist appears and lifts their spirit.
And further, SIMS tend to overreact easily in general.
8) There’s a person in the way
„Sorry I can’t pass here, because someone else is blocking my way and I can’t just figure out how to pass or use another route.“ – Seriously?
Your SIMS are still awake at midnight and want to go into the garden, as happy as always. But then, suddenly, the music changes and -BAM!- ghosts of ancient SIMS appear and scare them to death, because … well, they can, I guess.
It’s hard to make money and to build a perfect house, so almost everyone knew Codes, such as „rosebud“ (SIMS), „Motherlode“ (SIMS2) or „boolProp testingCheatsEnabled true“ (SIMS2).
11) Friends and Enemies
SIMS are really resentful – even though they know their own parents for quite a long time, they can’t just forgive a small prank or an opinion that does not fit theirs. Further building friendships is a hard job and takes at least half a day.
12) Reactions to emergencies
„Oh, the stove is on fire? I better start to hyperventilate and wave my hands around, just to make sure that maybe I will set myself on fire.“
It’s as easy as one, two, three: SIMS just take something out of their fridge, cut it into pieces, put it into a pot and … YAY, STEAK!
14) Topics of Conversation
SIMS love to talk to others: while eating, watching TV, reading a book, topics that are always mentioned are other SIMS, the weather, sports, work, money, other SIMS, animals, games and other SIMS. Quite a great variety, life never gets boring.
15) The Language
I think there should be something like a language course where you can learn SIMS language! Sometimes it seems to me it is a mix between English, German and something Arabic, dunno.
Whenever tableware or food is not thrown away or put into the dishwasher, it immediately starts to stink abominably and it creates a green cloud, surrounded by flies. Bon appétit!
17) Angry neighbor
„I hate you … I’d better kick your garbage can each time I pass your house. This serves you right.“
Totally realistic, I mean, who does not own a flying house with just a staircase that holds the whole damn building?
19) Messing around with Death
So you want your favorite SIM back from the dead? Better play a game with Death.
20) The ugly family
Everyone has at least once created an extremely ugly SIM or family just to find out how their offsprings look like!